Hi Ladies

I never thought I would start a blog :) maybe cause one, I suck at writing but I guess its good practice for me and an easy way of telling the people close to me whats going on in my life. So here it goes.....

Ross and I have been married for a little over a year and I'm so blessed to be married to such a amazing man who truly loves me and also himself :) Our love for each other has always been easy and simple but our life together, not as easy and simple. Things just take a little longer for us but its our journey that makes us such a stronger couple. What I'm about to share with you guys took me a while to even get to this point of sharing. Some of you might be all caught up and for some this might be all new news but that's why its just easier to share all at once.

So March of last year about 6 months into our marriage I decided to go get checked. I was still having irregular periods as I have always had but never really got it checked cause I didn't care to get pregnant then :). The doc did some tests and everything came back good but she found a little sign of PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which there is an imbalance of a woman's female sex hormones) but my blood tests were good so she wasn't sure. She had told me to go on birth control but I didn't want to do that being that I was hoping for a surprise pregnancy. She said that Clomid (Clomiphene is used to induce ovulation (egg production) in women who do not produce ovulation but only if you wish to become pregnant) would help cause it would get me regular but also make sure that I was ovulating. They put me on the lowest dose and they said I could only be on it for 6 months. The chances of getting pregnant in 6 months on clomid are pretty high. Everything seemed to be working the first couple months on my end but no pregnancy. So they told me to have Ross tested. He did and then when I got a call from my doc's nurse telling me it was really low and that there was 0% normal forms (shaped) and that's probably why I'm not getting pregnant (Ross thinks that now that you know he can't get you pregnant, you'll all be trying to have an affair with him), but I freaked out. Hes done other tests and they all came out the same with the 0% and so they said there is nothing else going on, its just your luck cause of the surgery he had when he was two. The chances were low of getting pregnant but it could still happen. So I kept on the Clomid but then the last couple months on the highest dose I wasn't ovulating. They told me that the chance of Ross and I being fertile in the same month was maybe 2%. They recommend Ross and I do IVF w/ ICSI. I'm sure you guys have all heard of IVF but the ICSI is when they inject the sperm into the egg. So I made the appointment with the fertility doctor and we went to see him in July.

Since July Ross and I decided that, because the process is very emotional, stressful and time consuming, that I would leave my job and we would move so we weren't paying so much for our rent. I left my job at the end of August and we moved at the end of Sept. into one of my Dad's condos. Since then we have still been trying and hoping for a miracle baby and just really praying about it. We are ready now to move forward but the last 3 months have given us time to really go through the emotional stages and in that time I realized I can't do this alone. I understand that you ladies might not understand exactly what we are going through but some of you might have other stories or you might have friends that are going through or that went through the same thing.

Our next step to extending our family starts tomorrow. The next few months are going to be exciting, emotional, and stressful but knowing we have the support of our family and friends will make this alot easier.I wanted to reach out to all of you who I love so dearly partly so you know that when I'm boring or moody during this time, that's the reason. I will be keeping up with this PRIVATE BLOG so that I don't have to tell everyone over and over whats going on but that's doesn't mean you can't call me :)  This will be a good venting process for me and if you don't care or don't want to read it, tough shit. Please keep us in your prayers. Love you all SOOO MUCH.

Oh and a special thanks to Nan for helping us get the loan. :)